To write my process and journey through leaving abuse is at once terrifying and healing.
I am acutely aware of the responsibility I have with my words and actions each time I hit the publish button.
I realize the impact the words I type could have on myself, my children, and those in my sphere of influence.
I am highly in tune with my responsibility as a blogger and writer. I don’t take it lightly. And yet, I must write. I must speak. I stayed silent for too long. I gave away my power to others who wished my story would stay secret.
I write for those who have not yet found their voice, so they will know, they are not alone.
I write, because with each word, I feel resistance…
I see resistance…
I receive hurtful words from others,
wishing I would stay silent.
I break down for a moment. Sometimes more.
AND THAT is o.k.
And it’s important to acknowledge the feelings that go along with my process.
Hurt. Anger. Grief. Loss.
ALL of it.
A reminder rings through my spirit to DECLARE THE OPPOSITE of resistance I feel into the atmosphere.
I write the pieces of my story I want my children to receive and to speak into their own families for generations.
I write the truth about my process because there’s a religious resistance to the truth about pain, healing, feelings, and forgiveness.
The truth is, I hit publish terrified.
The little girl that resides within my heart wants to hide.
The Lioness arising, however, declares:
I KNOW WHO MY DADDY IS! I SEE WHAT’S BEHIND YOU! DO YOU KNOW WHO’S INSIDE ME? WHO WALKS BESIDE ME. IN FRONT OF ME. BEHIND ME? DO YOU KNOW THE SPIRIT WHO SURROUNDS ME! DO YOU KNOW THIS IS MY SEASON OF TURNING MY POWER UP AND ON!
ABUSE IS NO JOKE!
BUT I AM FREE.
Today is my day to declare freedom for myself and for all the others unable to walk away.
Today, is the day I declare freedom for the oppressors as well. And I can’t lie. That one is the hardest. But without this declaration, there will not be freedom for ALL.
AND Kingdom on Earth is God’s will for every member of the human race.
WE. ARE. FAMILY.